


Seriously? Right in front of my salad?

by XDr3bELXD



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel), Bisexual Skye | Daisy Johnson, Bisexuality, Coulson is a great dad, Crack, F/F, Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Four Seasons Total Landscaping AU, Gay, Gay Bar, Lesbian Carol Danvers, Marvel - Freeform, Useless Lesbians, ValCarol - Freeform, agents of shield but teenagers, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XDr3bELXD/pseuds/XDr3bELXD
Summary: Carol and Valkyrie own a gay bar. They are shocked, but utterly amused when their old neighbour Phil Coulson accidentally rents out his landscaping shop to Donald Trump.
Relationships: Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Carol Danvers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Seriously? Right in front of my salad?

Carol was just hanging up the new asexual flag in the window when she saw it.

Trump supporters.

In Phil's yard.

In a flurry of panic, she sprinted towards the counter where Valkyrie was cleaning shot glasses. "Why are there MAGA 2020 guys in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping?"

"MAGA _what_?" Valkyrie craned her neck towards the window and gasped as she saw a bunch of Karens and boomers holding signs. "Holy fuck."

At that very second, their neighbour, Phil (who owned the landscaping shop) came through the door. "I... I'm so sorry... but... I may or may not have accidentally invited Trump supporters to my shop? I... I thought it was a prank?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Carol raised her hands in the air. As far as she knew, Phil had tons of kids, most of which hated Trump a _lot,_ which was to be expected, when Daisy was bisexual. "First of all, why would a literal neo-nazi rent out a landscaping shop?"

"I have no idea. This guy called up, said he wanted to rent the place for a speech an offered me 50K. I thought it was a prank call, but it was 50K, so I took it." Coulson rubbed his head, embarrassed. "Guys I'm so sorry-"

Valkyrie dropped the shot glass in her hand and began shaking. Carol looked at her wife in concern. "Val? Are you okay?"

"No." She wheezed and let out a burst of giggles, coaxing a snort out of Carol. Eventually, all three of them were roaring with laughter. _Donald Trump had actually rented out a landscaping shop for a speech!_ Eventually, with a shaky breath, Carol had to stop laughing otherwise her ribs were going to crack for sure.

"You guys don't mind if I drop off my kids here right?" Phil asked them with a chuckle. "It's not that I'm worried for them, just that I'm worried that they might attempt an assassination."

"Of course not."

\--- 3 hours later

Daisy peered over the counter. "How do you make shots?"

"Nuh-uh, shakey." Carol steered the sixteen-year-old away. "No discussing alcohol until you're legally old enough to drink."

"Awwww! Come on!" Daisy threw the puppy eyes. "Just a sip?"

" _No_. Your parents _will_ murder me."

"She's right Daisy." Her 25-year-old brother, Alphonso (everyone called him Mack tho) looked at her with the 'don't you dare do dangerous shit' expression. "No alcohol. You on sugar is bad enough."

Jemma looked up her from her phone. "Why don't we film the chaos outside for memes?"

"Absoloutley my dude." Daisy snatched up her own device and prepared her camera.

Carol looked at Val exaspteradly. "Do you know what a meme is?"

"Nope." Her wife shook her head in amusement. 

"Guys look! The orange bitch is making a speech!" Kora yelled from her seat at the window.

Elena, Mack's girlfriend, snorted in her deep accent. "Probably stating on how freedom of choice is a crime against humanity probably. I mean seriously? Right in front of my salad?"

"F." Jemma shook her head sympathetically. 

"Hey Jemmie." Daisy giggled. "Have you told anyone about your new boyfriend?"

"Leo isn't my boyfriend! We're just friends!"

"Yeah, _sure_."

Valkyrie took Carol's hand and smiled at her. "Weird day huh?"

"Obviously." She grinned back. "As long as we can celebrate how idiotic the president is, I'll gladly settle for babysitting anytime."


End file.
